Hugging, Kissing, Telling Your Parents “I Love You”

Culture, Stories 17/08/2020 by Akaafele

No two parents are the same in the way they relate to their wards/kids. While one might be lenient and be tolerable to mild improper conduct, the other will be hard/harsh/strict and spank the children for any trace of foolishness or misbehaviour.

My dad, on the other hand, was very strict; he’ll wake me up by midnight to beat the hell out of me for an offence I committed.

Children naturally tend to get closer to the easy-going, lenient parent. Most times, children avoid the harsh parent and this affects the way they bond in the long run, except there’s a chance later in future.

Growing up in my father’s house was nothing different. My mum was the less strict parent she could joke with us, tell us stories and we could all throw tantrums when she sends us for ‘hard’ chores, she rarely used to beat us except for a few slaps here and there, she had her way of bribing us with gifts when we get mad at her but the day she decides to beat, she’ll beat any of her kids real good.

My dad on the other hand was very strict; he’ll wake me up by midnight to beat the hell out of me for an offence I committed. He rarely beat us in the day time. No where to run, no where to hide. There were times I felt my parents didn’t love me and I almost ran away from home to go search for my birth parents. lol 

As the years passed by, age took its toll on my parents and they became calmer and they kinda switched personalities, my dad is more friendly and nice, he tells us so many stories and won’t leave out any details, he laughs a lot and he’s so accommodating. My mum on the other hand is a little rigid and strict. Life dealt with them differently I guess.

I love how they love their children, my dad can always call, he hugs me often when I visit them. He loves us taking selfies and pictures. He will still try to raise me up and spin me around. He tells me he loves me every single time, he will go “my sugar, I love you so much”, he never fails to tell me I’m so beautiful. A typical call with my dad end this way:

Dad: I love you my sugar

Me: I love you too daddy.

My mum on the other hand hardly says she loves me except I’m ill or I’m leaving home after a visit. She rarely hugs me except I’m leaving home. She feels it’s awkward showing love that way. She’ll rather outdo herself by getting me gifts to prove she loves me. 

I’ve realized over the years that people are wired differently and they can’t give what they don’t have. Most of our parents were raised with “iron hands” void of verbal love and care so they treat their kids’ same way but for those who have travelled or associated with people who act differently, so they learn and implement, just like my dad. 

For many parent’s it will be absurd for their children to try hugging them or even say “I love you”, they might ask if they’re in need of a favour or something is wrong somewhere. I pray our generation show greater love to their kids, not just by action buy-in words too. The verbal expression means a lot. People fall prey to outsiders when they lack love at home, imagine the first time your child hears these three words “I love you” it’s from a stranger.  If you’ve got your parents alive, change their mindset subtly, they will appreciate it. If you’ve got kids, show and tell them just how much you love them. 

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